Where do Kaycis come from?
Kayci has been in the works for a long time. We've been praying for a baby for about two years. Finally, we got tired of waiting for one on our doorstep and started doing research on where babies came from.
We found out that contrary to old wives' tales, babies do not come from cabbage patches or are delivered by the stork. In fact, baby Kayci actually came from Eddie Bauer wrapped in a leather jacket. Who'd have guessed?
Clinical Depression -or- Finding Out That Kayci Was on the Way
About mid-October Kristi felt very tired and drained all the time, both physically and emotionally. To add to that, she was gaining a little weight in certain key areas. She thought she was clinically depressed and was considering going to the doctor to get treatment. A couple of her friends, Kate and Elaine, both told her early on that she was probably pregnant, but Kristi didn't believe them. Then she began feeling very nauseated and lost her appetite for some of her favorite foods. That's when she began to suspect. We bought a home pregnancy test on Friday, October 25 and she showed positive twice. We went to our family doctor on Monday, October 28 and showed positive on that test also. The doctor figured we were 5-8 weeks pregnant. Then we went to Kristi's girly-doctor on Wednesday, October 30 and she did an ultrasound. Sure enough, we were 5 weeks pregnant. The ultrasound showed a tiny little dot surrounded by a black area. That was Kayci's first photo. I thought the ultrasound looked like a swirling hurricane on radar, so we nicknamed the little thing in Kristi's tummy Baby Hurricane, even though no one would know for several days.
Trick or Treating For Babies
We were going to try to save the news for the November birthdays, but we were just too excited. So we decided on Halloween to go around to our parents' houses and trick-or-treat. Kristi took off her shoes and went as "barefoot and pregnant." The best reaction was her mom, who screamed and ran out of the room. The parents whose birthdays were coming up got Hurricane Pharaon t-shirts. The design is on the photo page.
If Ultrasounds Were Wishes...
A few people have asked us why we've got so many ultrasound pictures of the baby. Is something wrong? Is everything okay? Do we own stock in GE? Apparently, it's not common to have very many ultrasounds done. The answer is quite simple, really.
We wanted to irradiate the baby so much while she was in the womb that by the time she came out, she would HAVE to possess super powers. I mean , really... Kristi's always wanted a little red curly-haired baby and I've always wanted to be a superhero, so we compromised. She got the baby and I get to have a little mutant who can lift cars and throw them at me when she's a teenager.
Actually, we just happened to find a doctor who likes to perform ultrasounds. We didn't even ask for them. A typical doctors visit usually consists of Kristi peeing into a cup a couple of times (it takes a couple of times because unlike James, she has very bad aim) and getting undressed, only to put on a paper thin gown that has the all the opaque qualities of wax paper. Then they come in and hook her up to a machine as if they were jump starting a car. That's when the "baby show" begins. It's usually pretty short and has a good moral in the end. The main character is a tiny little thing, but her stature in the world, like herself, is getting bigger all the time.
So, that's why we have more photographic evidence of this baby than the government has of weapons in Iraq.
Who's Baby Is This?
During the first trimester, the baby pretty much dictated what Kristi would and could eat. Kristi never did get sick or anything or had any really bizarre cravings like peanut butter and pickles or cream cheese and Oreos. But the baby was VERY opinionated as far as what it liked. If Kristi even LOOKED at some foods, such as pears or apples, Kristi felt sick to her stomach. The baby really wanted cheese and bacon and steak and lots of meat. That lead to my determination that this was a boy. Really- what guy doesn't like a good steak and lots of cheese? To make matters more interesting, the baby HATED things that Kristi generally loves, such as ABCs & 123s or Chicken & Stars. And the baby had no taste for sweets, either. The baby actually liked veggies & lots of other things that I like.
All this naturally led me to wonder. I mean, the baby obviously liked all the things I like and hated most of the things Kristi likes . So I basically knew that Kristi was carrying MY baby in there. I just wasn't sure if it was her baby at all...
How You Know It's Time To Buy New Clothes
Kristi has a coworker at school who is about three weeks more pregnant than she is. This girl started showing before the holidays and was wearing maternity clothes just after Thanksgiving. Kristi, however, wasn't really showing at all as of Christmas. Those people who know her could tell a little, but for the most part, at three months she was still wearing her regular clothes. Then all of a sudden one day, she couldn't button her jeans. I was mad at her for letting herself go like that until she reminded me that I was outpacing her as far as weight gaining goes (more on that later.) So she came up with a simple solution: she would wear her button-fly jeans and just wear them with a couple of the top buttons open under her shirt. That seemed to work, but to make sure there weren't any embarrassing moments in the hallway, she got some ponytail holders and wrapped them around the open buttons so they would be stretchy, but not hanging out there flapping completely.
I was embarrassed about it because it seemed tacky, but it worked for her. She had received some gift certificates to Motherhood (maternity store) for Christmas, but she couldn't find any maternity pants that she liked or that would fit her yet. The ponytail thing actually worked for a couple of weeks. Progressively, more buttons were held together by ponytail holders. The one morning toward the end of January Kristi actually popped a couple of the ponytail things off. And if she walked around with any more buttons undone, you could see it when she sat. I figured it was all right for my wife to look a little like white trash with rubber bands holding her pants on (after all- it was her choice), but I didn't want her to look like a total slob. So that afternoon we went back to Motherhood and she finally fit into some maternity jeans.
As an added bonus, the jeans actually look really good on her. I enjoy the big blue stretchy area in the front. I still giggle a little every time I see it. It kinda looks like a radar nose cone on an airplane. Now if I could just get Kayci to go, "bing... bing..."
Fatty, Fatty Quite Contrary, How Does Your Baby Grow?
Several of the pregnancy books that we ran right out and bought after we found out we were pregnant back in the fall said that it's not uncommon for the husband to have morning sickness right along with the mother. Apparently even aches and pains and weight gain in the father is not uncommon, either. I laughed because I found each of these quite funny.
As Kristi's Baby grew (that's how we referred to her belly) we began noticing something strange: my Baby was getting bigger, too. I was getting a little pot belly to match Kristi's. I always gain a few pounds at the holidays, mainly due to the fact that I eat a lot and don't usually get back into the workout mode until February or March. I didn't pay any attention to it at all because I never have any problems losing those pounds. A few days of smaller portions and a little time on the treadmill takes care of it every time. After all, I've never gained more than about four pounds over a holiday season. No big deal.
Then we went to the doctor on February 5. Kristi weighed herself and over the course of her pregnancy, she had only gained six pounds. She was a little concerned about this, but the doctor said not to worry about it. Then I weighed myself. I knew exactly how much I was SUPPOSED to weigh (I weigh myself every time I go to the gym and it hasn't fluctuated much in the past couple of years). My pre-pregancy weight was between 172 and 175. It depended on the day, but that was normal. The doctor's scale said I weighed 188. I was shocked.
That means that in a best case scenario, I had gained 13 pounds and in the worst case, I had ballooned 16 pounds in three months. I almost requested liposuction right then and there. That's the most I have EVER weighed. When I graduated from high school I weighed 135. When I got married I topped out at 150. Then I got a sedentary job and weighed 166 when I began freelancing about two and a half years ago. I had gained 50 pounds in nine years! I'm not even a father yet and I'm already turning into a fat old bald guy. Seems now that the only thing I'm missing are some plaid Bermuda shorts and dark socks pulled halfway up my shins... and sandals.
So I sit here writing this as I'm about to head off to the gym to work out. I'll be sure to keep you posted on my weight issues. But don't expect me to be truthful.
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