Wow…20 June 2003 - Mommy's Perspective

It’s funny; we can’t believe she’s here, but we can’t imagine life before her, either. I don’t think I’ll try to sum up the last 48 hours in words—the pictures do a pretty good job of it. We went to the doctor on Wednesday hoping to hear “you’re REALLY dilated—looks like you’ll be going into labor any second now!” We were getting a little impatient waiting for Friday to come…typical of James & Kristi. Anyway, that’s not what happened. Dr. Thompson was concerned because we were dilated to 3 cm, but she couldn’t feel a membrane (there was a possibility that the membrane had ruptured and was leaking fluid). I hadn’t noticed anything, and I’d been watching like a hawk for ANY signs of labor. We went immediately over to the hospital to Antepartum Testing, where they monitored Kayci and me. Her heartbeat was great, and I was having fairly regular contractions (not the earth-shaking kind, thank goodness!). We went over to Ultrasound so they could look at Kayci, check the amniotic fluid level, and do a biophysical profile. Kayci was pretty active and showed off for the technician, but absolutely refused to show us her face. Between her hands and her feet, we couldn’t even get a peek, and believe me, the technician tried EVERYTHING. The ultrasound results were kind of iffy; the fluid level was on the low end of normal and she scored 6 out of 8 on the biophysical profile (whatever that means). The radiologist and the Antepartum nurses spoke with Dr. Thompson, then I spoke with her, and she decided it was best for Kayci to make her debut pretty quickly. They started a penicillin IV, and away we went…

We got upstairs to Labor & Delivery right at 7. We got to know our nurse, Jennifer, and she took down our vital information. She hooked both of us up to the monitors again, and between the monitors and the IV, my nervous tummy & I had a heck of a time running back and forth to the potty! Daddy was pretty excited (read, nervous!). He distracted himself by getting out the video camera to film the beginning of our labor & delivery adventure. I was not into the whole camera thing—I was just beginning to come to grips with the fact that I was about to a) have major surgery and b) they were going to be removing Kayci from my body, and I’d be a “real” Mommy forever and ever. That’s a lot to take in all at once; I still had really mixed feelings about not being pregnant anymore (I LIKED having Kayci with me 24/7 and being able to touch her & talk to her whenever I want…I wasn’t ready to face the thought of being away from her for any length of time). Anyway, I had a 20-30 minute freak out while we were waiting for an operating room to open up. Once Jennifer came in with Dr. Miller and said the room was open and it was time to go get the epidural, I was fine. James had to wait in the room while they got the epidural going, and a nurse would come and get him in 20ish minutes. I went to the OR and they started the epidural. It didn’t go exactly as the anesthesiologist wanted it to; he had to skip the spinal block (or something—they skimmed over it, I guess so they wouldn’t make me more nervous). It took longer than they expected for the epidural to take effect; I think they finally went to get James an hour later. Once he came in, everything went FAST…the next thing I knew, somebody was pushing on my tummy and Dr. Miller said “She’s definitely a girl!” and then James and I were both crying. I didn’t get to see her right away, but James went over and took pictures of her and showed me on the digital camera. She cried while the nurses were working on her, but calmed down when James leaned down and talked to her—she knew Daddy’s voice because she’d been hearing it since the day we found out we were pregnant! They brought Kayci to me as they were taking her out of the room, but I was numb up to my throat (once the epidural kicked in, it REALLY worked!) and my hands and arms were numb. I couldn’t hold her, but just looking at her and talking to her and touching and kissing her were more than I ever imagined. James didn’t get to hold her at all in the OR, but he was able to accompany her up to the 4th floor to the nursery. On the way, the nurse stopped so that Kayci’s fan club could meet her. I don’t really know what happened after that; I know that she had to be tested and all kinds of stuff in the nursery, but I don’t know any specifics. They stitched me up and I went to Recovery to be monitored until I was ready to go to my room. It took about 3 hours for the epidural to wear off (what a weird feeling to be basically paralyzed; it really freaked me out). James came in with the video camera and showed me some of the footage of Kayci in the nursery and our family’s reactions to her. Since I wouldn’t get to see my parents until the next day, James filmed me telling about our evening. I thought I was pretty “with it”, but watching the video I look like I’d been on drugs. I think it was just exhaustion and coming down off the nervous energy/excitement. In Recovery, we got the bad news that no private rooms were available Thursday night. Our nurse tried to talk the Charge nurse into letting us skip ahead on the list, but no dice. So, at 12:45 they escorted us up to the 4th floor to a semi-private room. 

Wow…continued 29 July 2003

Long story really, really short now…Kayci came in at 2:45 am on 6/19 and James and I spent several hours just holding her and looking at her (and I learned to breastfeed). Thursday was a long, but great day of visitors and nurses and just BUSY. Kayci had a meltdown right after we moved into our private room, and we realized we’d overdone it. So, Friday & Saturday we only took a few visitors and didn’t really let anyone hold Kayci. Things went MUCH better! We even sent her to the nursery in between feedings at night so we could all rest. By Saturday, we’d worked out the breastfeeding thing (we thought) and decided we could go home. Then the Baby Blues kicked in, and I think I spent most of Saturday morning in tears. I couldn’t explain why—I wasn’t in TERRIBLE pain, I wasn’t sad…I think it was just the realization that this was it—it was time to take Kayci Clara home and become a family. What a lot of pressure on someone who’s just had major surgery and not much rest! So…

We went home. And we had a couple of rough days with a screaming banshee because I wasn’t producing milk (it didn’t come in for over a week). We started what would become weekly visits with Dr. Byrd the Monday after we came home. She put Kayci on a formula supplement, and it worked like a charm. I had a UTI that started that Sunday, also, so there was a lot of unhappiness in our house. After Kayci could rest with a tummy full of formula, things got better than we ever imagined. We had lots of visitors, of course, and just spent lots of time sitting and holding Kayci or just looking at her. (That’s what we STILL do…) James and I adjusted pretty quickly to working as a team to take care of Miss Kayci 24/7. There are no breaks, and nurses don’t come around offering fresh ice water and food…or to take Kayci to the nursery so we can rest. There IS no nursery…