Monday, April 20, 2009

Grandpa's Little Guard Baby

One of the hardest things for me to think about is the fact that Noble won't remember Grandpa.  Hands down, Grandpa is one of Nobley's favorite people in the world, and has been since day one.  When I think about the past 13 months and all that we've done, all the places we've been, there aren't many memories that don't involve my Dad, even before he got sick.  That's just how lucky we are, I guess.  Anyway, of course I've digressed--the point of this was to talk about memories.  Some of you may know that our Grandpa Weseloh passed away when Ronny was just a few months older than Noble is now.  And while Ronny doesn't have memories of knowing Grandpa, my Mom and her family have memories of baby Ronny from the time of Grandpa's illness and death.  Life truly is a circle, friends.  We keep coming back to the same points again and again, birth, death, and all of the wonderful and not so wonderful things in between.  We see so much of that in our kids and parents, and how so many things are the same in our family histories.  There's a lot of comfort in that.  

Our kids are an amazing source of comfort, as well.  Noble has been my constant companion as we've traveled back and forth for Grandpa's doctor visits, hospitalizations, etc.  Of course Kayci and James have been around as much as school and work would allow, but many days and nights it was just Noble and me and the old folks.  I was--and am--grateful that Noble had so many opportunities to make memories with Grandpa, because even though he won't remember them we'll always have stories to tell about how much fun they had together.  Having the kids here with me this past week has kept me sane and strong, and even in the harder moments, focused on the fact that Grandpa was and is so much more than a cancer patient, and that life will truly go on.  Oh, but I'm away from my point again.  A lot on my mind right now, guys.

Here's what I started blogging to share, as it's kept me smiling these past few days...

We came in on Tuesday night, thinking it would be a long couple of weeks and not knowing really what to expect.  Wednesday was a long day for all of us, most especially Grandpa.  Unfortunately he was in a tremendous amount of pain.  But luckily for all of us, hospice is wonderful and even though his regular nurse was out sick, another nurse came out at Mom's request to evaluate Dad Wednesday morning.  Man, my sentences are even longer than scattered brain must be channeling Hemingway?  Anyway...Noble was NOT happy that the nurse was messing with Grandpa, and he was right at her heels and in her way.  So I moved him away, but that didn't stop him.  

He crawled on top of his truck to peek over the oxygen machine to keep an eye on the nurse...and when I was busy e-mailing this picture to myself, he got down and went back over to the couch and stood there telling the nurse "ah ah!  ah ah!"  (that's Kristi for "no!").  It was so funny, and she didn't take offense.  Later that day, the nurse and I had to move Dad into his hospital bed, which was very painful for him and stressful for the rest of us.  But, for his safety and comfort, we had to suck it up and get it done.  God truly gives us what we need, and what we needed must have been a smile because Noble came at me and didn't want me to touch Grandpa.  I handed him off to Mom and she held him while we moved Grandpa.  It only took a few seconds, but the whole time Noble was yelling at us, "bop!  bop it!"  (Noblese for stop and stop it.)  I'll never, ever forget that.  What a silly, loving boy.

Grandpa's little guard baby.  :)  


Cynthia O said...

im truly sorry for your loss... hope that u guys will take good care of yourselves.. Grandpa will live on in your hearts and memories.

Christy M said...

I'm very sorry to hear that Grandpa's life on Earth is over, but take peace in that now he is soaring above. Even though he can't be seen, his presence will always be felt.